Discover more from Tattva | S.B. Keshava Swami
The Inner Life
Dear Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept my humble obeisances
All glories to your divine grace!
Everyday we marvel at your colossal achievements, inexplicable through mundane commentary and logic. Today, however, I’m reflecting on the invisible acts of love and devotion that underpinned the spiritual revolution that you instigated – those times of divine communion which nobody saw. It was the blazing fire of pure devotion hidden within you that powerfully set the world alight. How fascinating is the inner life of a pure devotee!
Struggling in the Delhi heat, crying alone in the wilderness, desperately trying to carve out a plan to fulfill the order of your spiritual master. Nobody was listening, success was sparse, and how exactly Krishna’s will would manifest was unclear, yet you continued on as a lone ranger, waiting for the sweet Lord to intervene and reveal His master plan. Nobody saw that struggle.
The lone mendicant in Vrindavana, sweeping the courtyard of the Radha Damodara temple, praying, petitioning and pleading for mercy. The unknown sadhu who sat inconspicuously at the back of the Santipur Temple praying for the blessings of Advaita Acarya. These times went unnoticed. You were positioning yourself to become a divinely empowered instrument of Gaura-Sakti.
On the Jaladuta ship, writing poems and pouring your heart out to Krishna, an effusive flow of transcendental emotion. The shock of a near death experience at sea, heart attacks that you only spoke about a handful of times. You honestly expressed your heart to Krishna – “I do not know why You have brought me to this terrible place, but clearly You must have a plan. Kindly make me dance as You desire.” Alone at sea.
In the early mornings, when the whole world was asleep, you rose, chanted, dictated and penned transcendental truths that would nourish generations to come. But it wasn’t just a service for the world – it was an outpouring of transcendental ecstacy. The Srimad-Bhagavatam was your best friend, constant companion, and greatest source of happiness. Relsihing that time alone with Krishna.
In the late evenings, unseen in the public eye and away from the spotlight, you sat in solitude, singing bhajans on your harmoium, drowning in the feelings of the acaryas. You sang the same line again and again – “O my Lord I have uselessly wasted my life, and thus I have knowingly drunk poison” – crying for Krishna, a prema-bhiksu, beggar of love.
The private life of a pure devotee, ever-rooted in a world which is invisible to most people’s eyes. In reality, however, you were never alone – your transcendental consciousness meant you traversed this world in the constant company of Sri Krishna and Sri Guru. Your inside and outside were identical. Always with Krishna, and effortlessly giving Krishna to others.
We can’t take the world to a higher place than we’ve reached internally ourselves. We hold onto you, Srila Prabhupada, and pray you’ll introduce us to Krishna. Then we’ll try to come back into the world and do something for your glorious mission. Sharing Krishna consciousness with deep compassion and genuine realisation – emissaries of realised philosophy, touching hearts because our own heart has been touched. Diving deeper and reaching out further. Thank you for gifting us such a beautiful adventure to embark upon.
Eternally indebted, S.B. Keshava Swami