Breakfast of Champions!

Feedback is the breakfast of champions. But why is it so hard to digest? How can we learn the art of hearing without defending?

There are two fundamental blocks:

We can’t see – it’s difficult to see the picture when you’re inside the frame. Entangled in our own emotions, perceptions, habits and opinions, we struggle to go beyond. A neutral observer can clearly see things that we are completely oblivious to. Our modes of functioning, however, become so engrained that we convince ourselves we must be right and conveniently disregard any opinions to the contrary. 

We don’t want to see – success, we feel, is to be ‘perfect,’ and when that perfection is questioned, our pride awakens to defend. More important than perfection, however, is progress. A spiritually successful day is one where we improve, refine and develop ourselves. How is that possible if we’re unaware of our shortcomings? Stagnate in the illusion of perfection or progress in the reality of struggle – the choice is ours.

Even when feedback is out-and-out wrong, we’d do well to avoid disregarding it completely. Can we still learn a principle from what is being said? Even if the details are wrong, could the feedback apply to us in a different way? Can we take it as a timely warning of what not to do? Can we use their seemingly inaccurate analysis as an opportunity to exercise humility? All high ideals, I know, but that’s what makes a sincere spiritualist so special. The great saints demonstrated how even the harsh criticism of an unreasonable faultfinder can enrich our spiritual growth, what to speak of the earnest words of concerned friends.

(Excerpt from the upcoming “Tattva2: Old Words Open New Worlds”)