A Good Push

A reflective offering to HH Kadamba Kānana Swami

On 10 March 2020, my mentor and inspiration, HG Śrutidharma Dāsa, departed this world. Three years later, on 9 March 2023, my spiritual master, HH Kadamba Kānana Swami, also left. These calendar dates confront me in every cycle, inviting me to reflect. Sitting in the library, I watched the final rites of Kadamba Kānana Swami (click here) and wrote some thoughts.

Dear Mahārāja,

As a species of the cautious and careful, I was heading for a life of conformity. Left to my own devices, escape from the insulated world of the known was near impossible. Finding comfort and fitting in would have become the gold standard of success. How boring! Worse than physical expiry is what decays inside of us while we’re alive—the death of curiosity, creativity and adventure.

I was resuscitated to life by Śrīla Prabhupāda and you, his living representative. You disrupted, deprovincialised and displaced me from the narrow path that I thought was the entirety of life. You said I became your disciple because I was shy and you were bold. “I am going to push you, and it won’t be easy,” you said, “but it will be fun.” How could I resist? You never asked me to do anything you hadn’t done yourself. You took a bullet for Kṛṣṇa and proved you were ready to lay it all down. You embraced every risk and responsibility that landed at your doorstep. You conquered me by your care, and you took a personal interest even though I was so impersonal. Your uncompromising push was empowered by heartwarming love.

We live in times of great sensitivity, where cynicism pervades the air. Questionable leaders claim more authority than they deserve, demanding obedience that causes harm and hurt. The charismatic push has damaged and disoriented people’s lives. In this climate, teachers now assume the role of friendly advisors, requestors, counsellors and coaches. It’s safer, leaving a healthy responsibility on the student’s side. That said, I can’t help but think something beautiful has been lost. Without your spiritually dynamic push, I’d be nowhere that exciting. Who will push me now?

Bhakti Tīrtha Swami once returned to see Śrīla Prabhupāda after risking his life behind the Iron Curtain. Prabhupāda was overjoyed and affectionately rubbed his head, shedding tears of joy. “Your life is successful,” he said. Mahārāja replied, “Prabhupāda, we only do these things because you force us. Otherwise, how can we do anything?” Weak in body but fierce in spirit, Prabhupāda’s voice intensified: “Yes—and that is paramparā. My guru forced me, and I am forcing you, and that is how things are going on.”

Śrīla Prabhupāda called this a “pushing” movement. We push it forward, but we need to be pushed ourselves. Who will push me now? Who will confront me with a bigger vision and a bolder instruction? Who will stop the slide into laziness and comfort? I must stay connected—deeply—through your teachings, your representatives, your divine arrangements. Let me never fall for the illusion that I’ve made it—that the pushing is done and the destination reached. Keep reminding how much more there is to do—bigger dreams and discoveries on the horizon. Wake me up to the reality that we’re just getting started here. I’ll wait for the good push, listen deeply for the call, and rise when it comes. I know it won’t be easy, but as you said, it will surely be transcendentally fun.

Your servant, S.B. Keśava Swami